I'm home sick with a nasty stomach thingy. Trust me, you don't want the gory details. I was going to post today but I'm definitely not feeling up to it, which is fine because I'm posted elsewhere.
Check me out over at Thenewgay.net doing my Carey Bradshaw about internet dating (Hi Jon-Jon). I've even got the questions and everything too...lol!! I don't know, something just led me to write about how dudes have no shame showing their dicks and asses, but refuse to show their faces. I don't see it...do you?!?
If you get a chance, hop over to TNG and find my article here. I'm going to run to the bathroom, but I have a couple things in the works and I can't wait to share it with you guys!!!
I sat down at the Florida Ave Grill this morning with a friend. I'd never been before but according to him, they had one of best breakfasts in the city. The place was narrow and loud, even a little smokey from the open grill that was clearly visible and not far out of the reach of customers. Outside, people were waiting to be seated. The place was obviously popular, and there seemed to be a constant crowd of regulars shouting the names of their serves, some of whom had been working at the Grill for many, many years. We'd come to see one of these workers in particular. We bypassed the line outside, my friend called her name, and when a few seats opened up at the bar we sat. No one thought to stop us, we were here for Miss Caroline and as such we had preference. We sat down, and the ever popular Miss Caroline brought us both glass of sweet-tea (with crushed ice!!!) and I was in heaven.
People say that in big cities, there's the potential to feel alone, get lost. They aren't lying, especially if you have no family or friends to speak of when you first get here. If you fall on the side walk, the code of urban living dictates that people will likely not stop to help you up, they will continue walking. In the metaphorical sense, in the big city if you fall, people may even step on you to get where they're going. What makes a big city worth it is everything big cities have to offer, but if you don't have the money to pay for it you can't enjoy it. That makes the big city a conundrum from people like me: the young, immigrant, black, non-profit worker; the inexperienced, family-less, black, broke resident. There's a lesson of survival, though, to be learned from my friend, Miss Caroline, and her sweet-tea.
Though we feel encouraged to be cold, unfeeling, and a little bourgeoisie in the big city to get by, I'm learning that it takes the exact opposite to get what I want. With a smile, a few nice words, the initiative to introduce himself, and a few extra dollars for the tip, my friend got preferential treatment from Miss Caroline despite the long line in front of us. I can't tell you how many times, basic manners my parents taught me, a few jokes and giving a little extra while I had it has made the difference for me here. Whether it's a discount at my favorite sneaker store when I need new kicks, never having to pay for drinks at my favorite bars or with my favorite bartenders, and even eating free at my favorite restaurants, giving that little extra has been paramount to surviving and living well in a city I'd otherwise be hard-pressed to afford to live in. "Thank you," "have a good night," and "this is amazing" goes a long way in cities where they aren't often heard. They're the first steps to creating beneficial relationships and befriending people who can come through for you in a pinch.
In fact, when you really think about it, big cities are like Miss Caroline's sweet-tea. Before the sugar, that tea is a really cold and little bitter. With a little genuineness, manners and an appreciation for what people do, you can sweeten the pot for them and yourself. You don't have to add the sugar, but just think about how much better life will taste if you do. _____________________________________________________________________________________ Song du Jour: "Cruisin'"- Tweet
[The Fashion Fund, is a unique savings account that I contribute to on a regular bases. It will not be used for every day shopping, only for extraordinary pieces over a certain caliber quality, beauty, and price. ]
This sleek, affordable boot is officially on my list! I've been looking for a boot like this one and I couldn't see not eventually buying it. I have some financial hurdles to jump but these are official in on the Fashion Fund list.
Highsnobiety is also giving us a look at Lanvin's F/W 09 sneakers!!! Lanvin is one of my favorite label and what they have lined up for F/W is hott...but they are giving me Supra a little, no? No prices out yet but I'm sure they're gonna be expensive. Start saving now!
I've been blogging for 3 years (give or take) now, and through the many moves, relationships, drunken nights and trials this blog has been a port in the storm of my life. I've picked up consistent readers along the way, fellow bloggers have become a kind of family for me. I'm realizing now, though, that some of my newer readers, the one's I know that are based in the Bahamas and elsewhere and even some of the family members that may have stumbled upon the blog may be wondering why I've decided to participate in this very public forum. Besides that fact that I'm grown and I can do what I want...no shade...I though I'd write about my top 5 reasons (in bold) for blogging. Some of them are connected, maybe even almost the same...but every time I sit down to write one of these five things come to mind.
Blogging, at the end of the day, is about the story. Whether we're blogging about fashion, dating, the hottest party, or Nascar racing, bloggers have to be able to tell a story. I can't sing, even though if I could have any talent that's what I would want. I can't paint or draw, and I while I used to be able to dance my knees are decrepit and old. That explains why I can barely run, or play tennis. These are all talents I could've had, but never did had or have any longer. I blog because writing is my talent. I think in images, and for some reason I have the vocabulary and the instinct to put those words together in ways that paint those images. I'm afraid that if I don't write, I'll loose my talent. My blog is practice for me...
Beyond my desire to hone my skills, there is a personal philosophy that encourages my blogging. It actually centers on the story, and why the story is important. We look at people and make assumptions about them in an instant. Without hesitation, homeless people on the street become drug addicts, the lady in the short skirt and 5 inch heel is a whore, and the person that didn't say good morning back earlier in the day is a bitch. These assumptions change when we know a person's story, what they've been through, what they're going through. We often don't take time to listen to a persons story, or tell our own and I think the world would be a better place if we did. And, no shade...but my story can be pretty damn interesting at times...lol
This philosophy about the importance of the story bleeds into my political leaning and the fact is that I'm a political person. My mind even works in a political way. So it should be no surprise that my ideological leanings are at the core of why I blog. It may sound weird, but I think blogging can be an act of revolution. Not to sound too radical, but I think one of the most destructive components of the capitalist system is that it pits us against each with a false belief that competition for necessary resources is natural. In order to survive we are told to fight against each other, for jobs, money, homes, oil, water...this forces us to look at our fellow human beings as different, as others in order for us to feel justified stepping on them to get what we want. In reality though, we aren't really all that different. Gay, straight, black, white...what ever we are we feel, love, laugh, have fun, cry, and deal with addictions of all sorts. The specifics may be different but the idea is the same. I always hope that with every story I tell, with every experience I have, some str8 person, or some white person, or some female, or some American, or anyone who is different than me can relate to it and realize that we aren't so different after all. It's the socialist in me.
The other thing is I'm also forgetful. Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you that my memory is remarkably selective. When, why and how things happen tends to get a little lost in the Aquarian mist of my mind. My blog is a digital record keeper and so the important things that I'd like to remember, maybe even one day put in my memoirs, will find their way onto the blog. I get to keep things, and by writing about them I can also let them go. Sometimes my thoughts and feelings keep me up at night and my blog is the place I get work them out and put them away for safe keeping. It also means that I get to create my own kind of history. Like prehistoric man etching images on the wall, I can leave some lasting impression and write it how I want to remember it. Creating our own history is important, it can influence our paths going forward and if history is truly that significant we should be allowed to remember it how ever we'd like.
Lastly, I live a truly fabulous life and one day I'd like to be famous for living it. I am surround by people that I love and who love me back. I have friends and family in the Bahamas, in DC and all over the world. Despite the little I make at HRC, I can still eat at the best restaurants, feed a shopping obsession and attend some pretty amazing parties and clubs. I'm moving to London to further my education, for Lagerfeld's sake!! I have a job I love and a somewhat clear path to my future. I can't complain about my life, in fact I feel I should share it. It's a thumb in the eye of everyone that doubted me, and a celebration for everyone that has supported me. The great thing is...it's only going to get better!
This is why I blog. It's not difficult to understand, I don't think. If you have a blog, tell me, why do you do it? And, if you don't have a blog, why haven't you gotten one yet?? _____________________________________________________________________________________ Song du Jour: "Sunshine"- Jazmine Sullivan
Last night's Be: Crank (the party I help promote) was a complete success. We were admittedly a little nervous because the new owner of Be Bar changed the door policy. They begun charging people to get in at 9pm, and while persons over 21 were receiving 5 free drink tickets, our 18-20 y/o patrons were not happy. They've been use to getting in free before 11pm. Thanks to some quick thinking from L-Boog, we were able to keep them around by promising to let them in free after 11, which is when we took over the door. By about 12 pm, we had a packed house...people were full and dancing all over the place. I spent the night tweeting live from the party. Thursday night is fast becoming one of the hottest parties in DC!
Special thanks to Hadi, Howard, and Sterling for coming out and supporting. Love you guyz...
There's no slowing down just yet. Tonight is my sister Nikki's birthday party at the posh and exclusive L2 Lounge in Georgetown. This members only lounge is know for it's striking decor and strict members door policy. Luckily for us...Nikki and her boyfriend Borzou have the hook-up. I met these guys through my fabulous sister Q and I know tonight is going to be absolutely fabulous...
Given the magnitude of the event I couldn't see not tweeting live...you can get all the dirty details on my Facebook page, or Twitter: joeybahamas.
We know that for everything there is a season. As cliche as it sounds, I believe it to be true. As spring begins to break winter's icy hold on the city around us, it feels like I am entering a winter all my own. A winter brought on by the end of a love affair.
While love's power is a force to be reckoned with, love itself is not assurance enough that things will last. Every relationship bares its own trials. Each time we take a leap of love we take a risk that may be rewarded by deception, heartache, and misunderstanding. Luckily for me, my leap has given me laughter, understanding, generosity and an abundance of beauty. But for the absence of one element this love may have grown wildly and unrestrained, bringing light into a dark and uncertain future. That's the thing about love though...sometimes all it takes is one faulty brick to turn a gilded mansion to rubble.
Without tears and angry words, or the dramatics that often accompany such difficult moments, things ended. Tender smiles, the holding of hands and sighs of realization ushered this decision into fruition. Like a phantom spirit trapped in a world it no longer belonged in, we released what was to the light, and it peacefully drifted to a land of bright memories.
No need for condolences or cheering up; it is what is. Remember, for everything there is a season, even the things we'd like to last forever. Each time we suffer a loss it gives us pause to think about what we had, how we can better it and make it stronger. Every empty space is an opportunity. Like a blank page or canvass, something beautiful belongs there. All too often in our distress and dismay we miss the opportunity to build upon the lessons and experiences that brought us to our winters, leaving us unprepared for the spring that will inevitably follow.
While love may not be all one needs to make things work, love will always be. Not matter how we try, true, genuine love never withers, never dies. After 11 months of silly private moments, sushi, secrets, smiles and spending too much money in Georgetown, I can say with certainty that this love never will...
My everything, my magic bean, my String Bean...
_______________________________________________________________________________________ Song du jour: "At the end of a love affair"- Billie Holiday
I've never really thought of myself a someone who's cute or sexy. At best, I've considered myself an...awkward beauty, as it were. But, just about everywhere I go in this city, and even at home, people randomly acknowledge my apparent cuteness. I can be walking down the street, or through the grocery store, or a club and someone will just stop me and say you're so cute. It happens even more when String Bean and I are together. Sb I can see being called cute. When you really get into his face it's strikingly beautiful...but me!?!?! It confuses me...
Last night for example, I went to go and see my brother Jesus at Euphoria, the bar he works at. As soon as I walked through the door these girls call me over. I wasn't sure exactly why I was being asked over so I slowly obliged. They wanted to know where I get my hair done because it was so cute, and that it fit me so well. Essential my hair and face caught their eyes and before I knew it I was making to case for why the girl considering loxs should go ahead with it. After leaving Euphoria I headed to Liv for the strippers, and as soon as I walk in some lesbian comments on how "pretty" I am. After a couple of drinks and many ones leaving my CDG wallet, I walked to 7/11 to get something to eat (don't judge me, the Dragon Wings are ovah!). I walk in and two very Southeast-DC-looking-female-security-guard types stop their chatter with the woman behind the counter to tell me how cute I was. One even suggested that I should be a model!!!! Random, right?
A couple of things stick out about this. Notice there are no boys!!! Boys rarely ever come up to me and say anything....at least not the attractive ones. If I'm so cute, where are they?!?!?! And am I the only one that sees something different from everyone else when I look in the mirror?!?! I just don't see it!!
...I want to be Julain Bond, Chairman of the NAACP. Check out this amazing speech he delivered at the HRC Los Angeles Dinner. He blew me away. Not only is this man one of original civil rights warriors, but he has stood in support of LGBT rights for many, many years. From what I understand, he's been getting some heat internally for being so public about his views. I think this speech was his way of saying, "Shut the f**k up!" Incredible! I wish we had more black leaders who were just as vocal as he is.
So the party was last night and I have to say it was a bit of a success. They've been throwing this party for a while but it has definitely reached a crescendo. The numbers have grown and there are a lot of new faces. In think this is due in part to a growing amount of chatter on the scene concerning this party...I'm just happy to see it grow. All that happiness got me really, really drunk...multiple people have voicemails to prove it!!
With all that said, last night we found out that Be Bar has actually been sold to new owners. After meeting the new owners, I'm not certain we're apart of their vision for the club. But we're suppose to be talking to them next Thursday, so I won't make any assumptions. This sucks because, like I said, I felt the party was beginning to reach its stride. Over the next few days I'll be working on setting up some kind of transition in case things don't work out. That's the Boy Scout in me, "Be prepared."
I want to say a special, big thanks to all those people who came out to support especially my sisters Q, Normie and Hadi. I know these fab girls could've been anywhere else, but they decided to come spend the night at my function and I really appreciate it.
Now the work goes on, and I have to admit that as tired as I, am I'm loving it. My goal is to be a man of many revenue streams. I think I can put one more hustle under my belt. What do you think it shold be??? _____________________________________________________________________________________ Song du jour: "Samba Magic"- Basement Jaxx
I feel like there is this wonderful momentum behind me. I remember a few months back I felt stagnant and bogged down with the day to day happenings of my life. I was watching people around me take on challenges and opportunities, and I felt like I was barely getting by.
Even after I got my acceptance to the London School of Econ. I still felt like I was readying myself for a slow and steady drift toward my final days in DC. But that's not the case anymore. The word inertia comes to mind.
in⋅er⋅tia /ɪnˈɜrʃə, ɪˈnɜr-/ [in-ur-shuh, i-nur-] –noun 1. inertness, esp. with regard to effort, motion, action, and the like; inactivity; sluggishness. 2. Physics. a. the property of matter by which it retains its state of rest or its velocity along a straight line so long as it is not acted upon by an external force. b. an analogous property of a force: electric inertia.
Definition 2.a. gets at what I'm think I'm trying to say...inertia is the word use to describe the movement (or the lack of movement) of a chunk of matter once it hasn't been acted upon by an external force.
Think of me as the chunk of matter, over the last few days I've been moving myself forward and the inertia is growing. Moving my self forward by stepping out there and taking risks, by what seems to be sheer desire to put some extra money in my pocket and conquer yet another thing in my life. I feel like I've unlocked my mother's hustle gene because I've been going night and day for the most part.
There's always that external force though, that thing that has the ability to stop you dead in your tracks. I know what that thing is. Besides death and sickness, for me, it's fear: fear of failing, fear of taking a risk. If I can over come that, I don't think anything or anyone else will stand in my way...and the more my inertia grows the harder it will be to stop me. _____________________________________________________________________________________ Song du jour: "Star"- Estelle
Everyone knows I've been looking to throw my own parties for a while now. I never have the time, money or the drive to actually get them off of the ground. Now it seems that while I'm not going to be throwing "my own party", I have a party to take care of.
K5 Productions, a growing entertainment group in the city has brought me on board to help build a crowd for their Thursday night party at Be Bar. I think Thursday parties are great, and people have a great time when they come through. But the crowd is really young, the music consists of too much Beyonce for my tastes, and Be Bar as a venue has it's share of problems. I'm being tasked with coming up for some creative ways to tackle these problems. I'm looking forward to it...and some extra money in my pocket will be great too!
I have to admit though...it's a little scary. The kids are so fickle and I'd hate a potential second career as a promoter faltering under the weight of a "zombie party"-- you know a party with no growth potential, that's kind of just stagnant. And, with work in the office picking up I'm wondering if I'm taking on too much. I've got some great ideas though...and I hope people come out and support!
I guess this is kind of what it feels like to follow a dream...you go out and get it, even though you're afraid you'll fail. You do what you can and hope for the best. No regrets....
*sigh* Wish me luck!!!! _____________________________________________________________________________________ Song du jour: "Dream Big"- Jazmine Sullivan
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