I think I am currently consumed by thoughts of London, even though my arrival is a year and some months away. It's a touchy subject still with things and people here I would rather not leave, and I'm even afraid of writing about it because what if it doesn't actually happen.
London Fashion Week is wrapping up. I walk around DC and see glimpses of London that I remember from my time there. Flashes of the city's lights, buildings and city corners.
I have no delusions of what life will be like when I get there. There is no posh apartment waiting for me, possibly a student dorm. Money will be tight, and between school and working for some a little money I'll be very busy. But that there is a new life waiting for me elsewhere excites me...
Does me being excited mean that I'm ready to leave my life behind, leave String Bean behind? Does it mean that I shouldn't put more effort into finishing my apartment or continuing my life here? Is it possible to look ahead too much and forget that you have a life you're living now? "What's it all about Alfie? Is it just for the moment we live?" _____________________________________________________________________________________ Song du jour: "Alfie"- Dionne Warwick
...is this Rick Owens jacket too cute! I love Owens and what he does with leather...it goes beyond the motorcycle jacket or all of the other traditional incarnations of leather. I think his work is stunning and out of this world. Do people give Easter presents anymore?? If you have about $2,000 laying around it's yours...
....is this Raf Simmons bag a must have item. That doesn't mean that I'm going to have it, that just means that if I could have it it would be had. Know what I'm saying? I love the black but I adore the metallic version of the bag...it's loud but sleak...get into it!
...is the look below from the Fall 09 Marc by Marc Jacobs collection the cutest? I love the mix of bow tie, blazer, the trouser and the hi-tops. It would be cool if I could put a twist on this look...I just love the colors and the combinations, the line and the proportions.
...are these Supra's giving you life too? I have to be honest...I'm a little late on the Supra band wagon, but they have some bad ass shoes. I'm really living for the burgundy colorway, the grey is cute too. After some research I know they are going for just a little over $100 online...I have to wait a couple weeks to get me a pair.
I have to say...money is tight with me saving for school, building my 401K portfolio and trying to eat and all. But after watching Confessions of a Shopaholic, I know that if I had the money...I'd be unstoppable. Above are some of the reasons why owning a credit card is just not an option for me....
So, I haven't felt much like writing lately. Well, I feel like writing for a moment and then when I sit down to do it I get over it. It kinda sucks too because I was starting to pick up moment and I was really looking to take the blog to the next level. I have to admit I've become a bit discouraged...with my computer being down, work picking up, trying to stay regularly in the gym, take care of my relationship with String Bean, trying to make this promotions thing happen and get my hustle on...it's a lot.
I guess an update is in order.
My birthday was great. The guys at Be Bar took pretty good care of me, cordoning off a section of the club for me and providing me with complimentary bottle service. My friends came out and drank quite a bit, and that's how I know I'm having a good party. When everyone leaves smiling and stumbling. I did dinner the night of my bday, Friday, with my gay/guy mother, my gay auntie, their husbands and String Bean. It was cute...but we ended up loosing our table at Utopia and having to wait an hour and a half for a table at Marvin's. They were all good sports and the folks who couldn't make it to my party continued celebrating my birthday into the week after. I'm 23 now and I feel a bit older...not in my body so much as how I'm thinking about my life.
The fact that I'm moving to London has been weighing pretty heavily, and having an effect on various portions of my life. String Bean and I are still together after all that written angst over the last few post. We broke up briefly after I made the decision that if he wasn't moving, I wasn't staying and that neither of us could do long distance it didn't make sense wadding around in a partially dead relationship. After about a week or so of that, we went out together as friends on Saturday night. By Sunday afternoon we were back together, under the weight of what seemed to be some unfinished business. Our relationship in this comatose state I feel...not dead, but not able to grow either. I think we'll figure it out eventually...in the meantime, we're seeing where it goes.
London is also causing a bit of a pinch in my pocket. I've gotten more serious about saving, and given that I don't make much money to begin with, saving is difficult. My 401K is looking good though and by the time I leave I hope to have a few thousand in my savings account. In the meantime, I've taken a sort of extra job doing promotional stuff for a Thursday night party here in DC. I love parties and I wish I had the money, influence and time to throw my own. But since I have none of those things in abundant amounts, I'd like to learn the trade a little bit.
Over the last few weeks, I've had some pretty great posts planned. I wanted to show you my favorite pieces from the Men's Fall RTW collections (McQueen rocked my socks), and I wanted to detail the crazy party weekends I've had, or the new pieces I'm saving up and sacrificing for, I've even seen a sunset and a stained glass window that spurred a few poetic versus forth, but none of these things have been able to break through my writers funk...but I'm back, if only slightly... _____________________________________________________________________________________ Song du jour: "Grateful/I'm Grateful"- Kim Burrell
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Tomorrow, Feb. 6th is my birthday. I'm going to be 23...old!!!
I'm having a little gathering...or "gaggle" is what String Bean called it...at Be Bar tonight. We'll be celebrating right into my birthday and I'll have some of my favorite people around me at 12:00 am when it becomes official. The kids are saying they will be out hunny...I'll post pictures!
Like every year, I went to get tested at Whitman Walker clinic. I'm happy to say that I'm negative...more importantly, I know my status. Get tested!
Aside from that, this year's birthday celebration will be relatively quiet...not like the month of celebration for my 21st. As I get older, I just want to spend time with the people I care about. I find myself more and more, every year around this time, being ever more grateful for everything and everyone I have. I'm surrounded my love and prosperity. Some months I just scrape up enough for the rent, and some days people piss me off. But, when I add it all up, I am privileged beyond imagination.
I am not bitter. I am not jaded. I am not perfect and I don't have everything I want. I am simply grateful for everything I have...including a heart full of love to give to those in my life who deserve it.
Happy Birthday to Me! _____________________________________________________________________________________ Song du jour: "Out of the Belly"- Kim Burrell
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