I know it's been a very long time since I last wrote. There's been a lot going on...I know I always say that. But it's true, if you're on my twitter you know that I've been on the go for the last week like it's my job to be out until 5 in the morning. But as usual something always drives me home, back to the blog...it's usually anger, love, amazing or disappointing news. The desire to share my feelings and thoughts with the world can not be satisfied with a 140 character limit.
I feel like I'm in a weird place right now. I can't help but think that keeping busy has been an excuse for me not to think about things. It's not like things are awful...I'm still broke, still cute! Actually, it's been quite a fab existence over the last few weeks. Parties, openings, dinners, new love interests...and yet, something doesn't feel right.
More and more I'm feeling detached, like I'm watching things play out around me that I have no control over...that I'm stumbling upon the things I think I want and getting partial satisfaction...in certain areas, my hard work doesn't seem to be paying off and I'm tired...
Have you ever went to your favorite restaurant to get your favorite meal and it just doesn't hit the spot like it should. Or when you've finally gotten that cutie over that's exactly your type, and it's just not as hot as it should be...something just isn't clicking...something is a little off, and I'm not sure what it is exactly...
I can venture to say that with a little mathematics the problem is obvious. Take everything that I had when things were okay and subtract from it the things I still have. What's left is what I no longer have. That missing thing is what Stringbean and I had...and even that fell a little short. I feel a little like Goldilocks...the porridge is either too hot or too cold...and I'm eating it just because I'm hungry...
Maybe I'm just being a whiner here...maybe I'm missing an ex and a little lonely when things actually do slow down...maybe I'm ready for the next thing to come my way...maybe I'm just ready to move on. Whatever it is, I'm not feeling "right as rain"...I'm feeling some kind of way...
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Song du jour: "Right as Rain"- Adele (live acoustic)
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It's Party Time
1 day ago
4 comments:
You are gonna be ok! Thanks for comformation! I thought it was only me who feel this way, but no doubt your gonna get over it. It's just a phase that never seems to go away!
I do follow you on twitter (thanks for the marriage equality updates!) and you definitely are one busy-ass young man.
I know how it feels when things just don't seem to be hittin right. It always feels like you're just there, not really an active participant and what it boils down to is that something is definitely missing. No chance at all of you and he puttin shit back together??
Honey, I feel like that alot these days but thats when I put on the best looking thing in my closet, fix it in my mind that I am the Naomi Campbell, find me a beat club and give life!!!
After listening to the songs seem very good vocal and guitar passages are very heart touching. Very romantic
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