Finding out that I got into LSE was a moment of great joy I won't soon forget. It's truly my dream school, and the acceptance has laid a career path out in front of me that I've been trying to get on for quite some time. The problem with these big life changing moments is that...well...they change your life.
Almost immediately after the initial celebration came the questions...and one stuck out more clearly than all the rest: What about String Bean and I?
For the last month or so, SB and I have been talking about our possible future together. Moving in, a puppy, rings...we were beginning to imagine the possibilities. Those were only possibilities...now, there is a stake clearly posted in the time line of our relationship...I will be going to London and that is as certain as it can possibly be.
Where do we go from here? SB is just settling into DC, with a great job and plans to get into real estate. He's never had his own place and that's something he wants to do. He has his own five year plan and it doesn't involve following me across the Atlantic. He's young..we both are...and he has his own life to lead.
It feels like we're in a relationship with a timer, and yet we don't know what the future holds. SB says that he won't move to London but that there is a possibility that may change...anythings possible. Do we continue in our relationship until the very last minute, or do we end it now in anticipation of the inevitable and spare ourselves the pain?
I don't believe in "the one"...I believe in great fits, good fits and bad fits. SB is a great fit, a very good fit at the least. We aren't perfect and we have our points of contention...one of the big ones is our differing libidos. I'm a hornytoad and SB isn't. Should we cut our losses and hope to find a better fit, or should we work it out?
I'm totally confused about this, and I think it's wearing on us...what would you do????
Posts
Genevieve
21 hours ago
6 comments:
It's really hard to say...I will say this, you've both made the biggest decision (and the right one) by choosing to fulfill your dreams without taking it personally that the other will not join you. There isn't any reason to give up SB just because you're leaving to London....think of it this way, you don't return the fancy rental car a few weeks early and catch the subway just so that you don't get used to the plush ride. Enjoy it as long as you'd like to and if you're thinking of enjoying some local DC pieces before your departure, be honest about it and keep it light. I'm proud of you Joey...you're together and you're going places - literally. Your decision making has already proven that your head is in the right place.
I would never tell anyone to end a relationship. Its not my place. I would advise you to be honest with yourself and with SB. What do both of you want. You know you better than anyone else. Can you handle being in London without SB? Can SB handle you being in London. Will there be invadors in the relationship (open relationship) or will there be somewhat of a celibacy agreement. Those things should be, and I am sure they have been, thought about.
Good luck and I'll see you in GTalk!
and cocoa... I think I can cosign on what you said as well!
I wrote up this whole long comment, and then deleted it. I would hate to compare my situation with yours. I will say this...
"Enjoy the Journey and Cross every Bridge when you get to it."
Your LOVE will still exist no matter what.
Sorry in advance if any of this sounds too pragmatic, but I'm always cut and dry and in this instance its easy to be cus I have no vested interest other than your success.
This is easy. Men come and go, LSE doesn't. I'm not saying cut him off, but this is your life we're talking here. If you two want to make a trans-Atlantic relationship work, you can. It's all about communication and establishing parameters. And figuring that whole morning versus evening thing out.
If he isn't adult enough to understand this unique opportunity, then he wasnt meant for you to begin with. If this was really meant to happen, it'll happen regardless of the time table. You won't be in London forever, right?
If you're looking for a silver lining, the time apart will give you time to get all sorts of creative when it comes to sex. You'd be surprised what fun little things you can do with a phone/ data line, a webcam, your hands (or a fleshlight) and a little imagination. Plus, think about the wild circus sex you guys will have when you visit the States or when he comes to the UK.
In the end, I know you'll do what's right.
Child, do what your heart tells you to do with SB. But be sure to take that ass to London!!!
Post a Comment